{plans}

I'll be 25 in exactly a week. Weird.

Remember when we all had "our plans"? You know the things in life that we had mapped out for ourselves, exactly how WE were going to have them. Or better yet, the game "MASH". Everytime we played this game it "automatically predicted our future". It told us who we would marry, what kind of car we would drive, where we would live, how many kids we would have, what our profession would be .... we thought we had it all figured out!

I'll be married by _____ and have kids by ____.

So "my plans" ...

For sure .. I thought by now I'd be raising a Little Campbell. Maybe a little boy, who wants nothing more than to go roll around the grass with Cheyenne (our precious pup). Maybe a little girl, who wants to bake cupcakes and bring them to her daddy at work.

But God says "not yet"...
Sometimes it's hard to let go of our own plans. There are times we think we have it all figured out and under control. Then when life seems to turn a different way, we become uncertain. Right now I'm in a period of uncertainty. I know that one day I will enjoy those precious moments with Little Campbell. But right now it's hard to see the end.

It's okay ...
Even though I'm unsure at times of what God really has lined out for my life, I am clinging to the fact that he really does have big things planned for us.

Today's uncertainty feels like I'm walking blindly.
Good thing is, I know the one ordering my steps. 

// B

{the parents}

The parents. Those that raise, teach, discipline, guide, nurture and most importantly... love. 

But as similar as they all might be, they are all still very unique in their own way. Some stay home to raise their nest. Others have to work to provide and are lucky if they can tuck their kids in bed. Some are strict and discipline on "every little thing", while others are a bit more lax and let things by.

What kind of parent will I be!?

K & I have joked and said that I am going to be the strict mom. If our child brings home a "C" on their report card ~ they will be grounded without a doubt! Where as K will say, "as long as you tried" your best, it's ok". But every situation is unique. Every child is their own.

For us, we don't know what kind of situation we will be faced with. The children that come into our home will need different things. Some may be tougher to parent than others. But all the while, they will still need that one common thing... love. 

But there are a few things I hope we do as parents......

 I hope we can share with them the memories of their heritage.

 // The rows of trees in the background were planted by my grandfather and great grandfather. To this day, they still stand.

// This is the farm where my mother and her sisters grew up. It was passed down from my great grandfather to my grandpa Charlie.

I hope we are able to let them create lasting memories with family.

May we teach them the value and love of a sibling. 

  "If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together ... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem & smarter than you think. Even if we're apart....I'll always be with you." ~ A.A. Milne

I hope they will know that even with the frustrating days, busy days and
crazy work schedules, they always come first.

   When they feel broken, ashamed, helpless, alone ... 
I hope they will feel in their hearts the love that we will always have for them.

Above all else, we will raise them through the love of our Father. Through continuous guiding, kind words, an overflowing forgiving heart. Even now, praying for those will enter our home.

At the end of the day, I just want us to give the children the best we can possibly give them. I want them to have a life changing experience while with our family.

Proverbs 22:5 (The Message) - "Point your kids in the right direction - when they're old, they won't be lost"

// B

{beginning this new direction}

Have you heard?! We are going to be PARENTS. Foster parents! By now, you may have seen  pictures of our special photo shoot or you have gotten a special letter from us. If this is your first time finding out .. surprise!

You may be wondering why we chose this route - or - how we heard about M.A.P.P. classes.

Well, in June, I was informed about the opportunity to take classes given at a local church. After talking to K about it, we decided to go to the information meeting first. In the beginning, we were under the impression that this was an adoption licensing class. But, in actually it was a foster class, which can give the chance for adoption ("foster to adopt" is the lingo we've been using). Needless to say, I was a little let down and honestly, heart-broken that I had high hopes that this was definitely what we had been waiting for.

After the info session, we sat in the car and I just looked at K and cried. I was so upset. I had waited all week for the meeting and was hopeful that we would get all the information we needed and would be on our way with adoption. Foster care to me was out of the question. I was feeling selfish. I didn't want to give them back. I wanted them to be ours forever.  Then K looked at me and said "lets give it a chance, if we don't like it, and realize it's not for us, we can opt out. What do we have to lose.."

I wasn't sold right away. I prayed. I had questions, and there was a constant theme rising in my heart. These children need someone to just LOVE them. God's love just begin to fill up in me more and more. All I wanted to do with it is pour it out all over these children and babies that just need that mother and father figure in there life. They are only kids. They don't fully understand why they go through certain things that pull them away from their families.

We weighed our options and spoke about what we both felt led to do and the journey began...

 Hours of classes. Stacks of paperwork to fill out. Hundreds of questions to answer. Hundreds of questions to ask. Countless wondering thoughts. A million more memories to come ....

Our hearts and minds have turned a new direction. We see things so differently now. We feel things differently. We think differently.

Everything is changing....

God has truly captured our hearts for the children. 

// B